A Woman’s Touch

     When it comes to Strider's maintenance, I like to think that I stay as much on top of it as any other average dog owner.

     I only give him a couple of baths a year, but there's a good reason for that. Hunting dogs secrete special oil from their skin that makes their coats water resistant. One of the first things that anybody says when they meet Strider is what a beautiful, shiny coat he has. "How do you get it like that?" they often ask me. My reply: "I never wash him. Go ahead; rub your face in his neck a little more." So I like to have some fun…sue me. The shiny quality that is so attractive is the oil that is covering every hair on his body. That's not to say that he doesn't get thoroughly hosed down after a long morning in the muddy marsh (lest my house smell like that crap), but the oil is specifically meant to withstand regular water. If he is bathed with soap too often, it will wash the oil right off and, well, try to imagine jumping into that frigid water with wet clothing, and you might get an idea of what the poor dog would feel like.

     He does get brushed once every couple of weeks, but that's more for my own satisfaction than anything. As a hunting dog, he sheds quite a bit more than the average house dog. Most house dogs don't get a full winter coat like hunting dogs do, and let me tell you this: when that winter coat goes, so does the color of your carpet. It gets everywhere.

     Strider also has a chronic ear infection that never seems to go away. The vets keep telling me that it's a yeast infection problem, and keep giving me the same thing to clean it out with, but it never seems to fully get better. I've been told by some that it's not completely uncommon for water dogs in particular, and it makes sense. Water is always getting in their ears, and since the ear lobes fold over, it doesn't really give them a chance to fully dry out. Moisture breeds yeast; yeast causes infections.

     The one place where I'm absolutely not comfortable in his maintenance is clipping his nails. I cut too short a couple of times when he was younger, causing discomfort for him and a bit of blood for me to clean up. I hate hearing him cry, and since his nails are all black, I have no idea where to cut them without hurting him. This is where by girlfriend, Nichole, comes in.

     She was a vet-tech at one point in her life, and has a lot of experience cutting nails. Somehow, she can look at that dog's feet (after giving me a look that says, "How do you let them get this long?"), and cut them just as short as any groomer that I've ever seen. Thank God she's around. In a rough and tough hunting world that is mostly dominated by men (no, I'm not being sexist, it's a fact…look it up), I guess some things just take a woman's touch.

     It was just last week that he was due for his nails to be cut, so it was Nichole to the rescue…again.
Allow me to digress for a moment. I'm not sure what it is, but whenever Strider is put on his back for an extended period of time, he gets a case of the sneezes. I'm talking a full on sneezing fit. I'm not completely sure what does it, but it absolutely never fails.

     Thanks to me, and my lack of nail cutting knowledge, this is not Strider's favorite time. He really detests it, and he has to be restrained and then soothed before he will relax just enough for Nichole work her magic. The only position that I have found he will relax in is with him laying down and having his head in my lap. Even then, he's still a bit restless. He doesn't cry or protest too much, but he is less than completely cooperative in just giving over his paws to Nichole. Again, this whole ordeal is completely my fault, and I can't blame him for hating it.

     This last clipping went as smooth as we could have expected, but he did get a small fit of the sneezes while he was lying on my lap, causing Nichole to put a pause on the process until he had finished. She cut his back nails, and then announced that he was all done, which he has come to learn means that he can get up and get his treat. Nichole, being the loving mom that she is, gave him a lot of praise and told him what a good boy he was…and that's when it happened.

     Go ahead; say the word "boy" out loud one time. You'll notice that at the end of the word, your mouth is completely wide open in almost a half-smile. Maybe he had been holding it back, but he had one big sneeze left in him, and he waited until she said "boy," and let it go…right in Nichole's mouth. Her entire body froze in place. Her mouth didn't move, she managed to close her eyes in time (which, ironically enough, were protected behind her glasses, but remained closed) and her hands were frozen in mid-air where Strider's head had been before he sneezed, and she was terrifyingly silent. Strider took a couple of steps back; a move he must have learned from me. I think I may have saved that dog's life that day. Of course, I was on the floor laughing, which diverted her attention away from him and onto me, which made her laugh…a little. Had I not been there, I think she may have strangled him. Luckily, she does have a soft spot for Strider, and has agreed that she will continue to cut his nails.

     Never a dull moment with a retriever.

     Until next time, give extra scratches behind the ears and happy training!